Apr 28, 2016 10

It's all about the journey, not the destination

It’s all about the journey, not the destination. Before starting my running journey, I was deeply insecure with my body and I begged for the approval of others. I can’t tell you exactly when it started... But I guess my first memory was when I was just a teenager and my gymnastics teacher told me that I was getting too chubby. As I grew older, pressures from my own family as to what I should be drove me sad and frustrated that I was not that image. Now I don't want to point fingers really, but I was young and I tried in becoming that ideal image I imagined. So I tried all sorts of diets and unhealthy ways to lose the weight. But it just made things worse and it made me deeply insecure. So as I got into my new university, I signed myself for a sport that I had never done… to meet new people so they’d pressure me to stay and also a sport that had discipline written all over it. The sport I picked? Rowing. Now from someone who barely exercised to now waking up at 5 am to go exhaust myself on an erg or row in cold weather… it wasn’t exactly fun. But I learned to push myself...Hard! And wow, did it teach me a lot!! It was inspiring to see people hungry to be in the boat and to also push one another to their limits. But one day, I was left with no option but to quit the rowing team. And there I was, alone and lost again. Not knowing what to do. As I sat down in my apartment and looked in the hallway at my running shoes I decided to go for a run. I thought the rowing would have helped with running... But it didn’t. I decided to look on Instagram to find inspiration and I did. So I began posting my pictures online not expecting anyone to follow. All I wanted was advice. I downloaded the Nike running app and decided to commit to every run it asked.

And that’s when I began running six times a week no matter what time, weather or what had happened during that day. I felt really uncomfortable being on my own...with no team, coach or cox. I had to learn how to push myself. Which reminds me of the moment where I would shout to myself that “I can do it”. I admittedly cried when I finished that run. I guess that’s the moment when I began believing in myself. I started focusing on improving my times. Then I started looking and questioning what I was doing to my body. What I put in my mouth and what I put on my body. I knew confidence was a thing I had to fix. So I asked how comfortable would I be if I had no make up for an entire week. And why was I uncomfortable? Little by little I would log my thoughts on Instagram and think things through and question what I did. And naturally I started treating myself a little better. Going for more natural products. Recently I’ve decided to quit on the Nike Coaching App and start listening to my own body. It’s a little nerve-wrecking because it really depends on how I feel and not having any structure. But so far, I’m really enjoying the journey and finding the confidence I never really had.