Apr 28, 2016 884

It’s all about the journey, not the destination.

It’s all about the journey, not the destination. Before starting my running journey, I was deeply insecure with my body and I begged for the approval of others. I can’t tell you exactly when it started... But I guess my first memory was when I was just a teenager and my gymnastics teacher told me that I was getting too chubby. As I grew older, pressures from my own family as to what I should be drove me sad and frustrated that I was not that image. I tried to become that image and try all sorts of diets and unhealthy ways to lose the weight. But it just made things worse and it made me deeply insecure. So as I got into my new university, I signed myself for a sport that I had never done… to meet new people so they’d pressure me to stay and also a sport that had discipline written all over it. The sport I picked? Rowing. Now from someone who barely exercised to now waking up at 5 am to go exhaust myself on an erg or row in cold weather… it wasn’t exactly fun. But I learned to push myself...Hard! And wow, did it teach me a lot!! It was inspiring to see people hungry to be in the boat and to also push one another to their limits. But one day, I was left with no option but to quit the rowing team. And there I was, alone and lost again. Not knowing what to do. As I sat down in my apartment and looked in the hallway at my running shoes I decided to go for a run. I thought the rowing would have helped with running... But it didn’t. I decided to look on Instagram to find inspiration and I did. So I began posting my pictures online not expecting anyone to follow. All I wanted was advice. I downloaded the Nike running app and decided to commit to every run it asked.

And that’s when I began running six times a week no matter what time, weather or what had happened during that day. I felt really uncomfortable being on my own...with no team, coach or cox. I had to learn how to push myself. Which reminds me of the moment where I would shout to myself that “I can do it”. I admittedly cried when I finished that run. I guess that’s the moment when I began believing in myself. I started focusing on improving my times. Then I started looking and questioning what I was doing to my body. What I put in my mouth and what I put on my body. I knew confidence was a thing I had to fix. So I asked how comfortable would I be if I had no make up for an entire week. And why was I uncomfortable? Little by little I would log my thoughts on Instagram and think things through and question what I did. And naturally I started treating myself a little better. Going for more natural products. Recently I’ve decided to quit on the Nike Coaching App and start listening to my own body. It’s a little nerve-wrecking because it really depends on how I feel and not having any structure. But so far, I’m really enjoying the journey and finding the confidence I never really had.