Apr 09, 2020 0

To Google or Not to Google?

You meet a new guy online or in real life and have his name and vitals. Do you Google him? That is the question. My answer: yes and no. Clearly, I have a love/hate relationship with Google.

First, why I love Google: it gives us instant access to any information we want. You want to know Madonna's 2020 concert dates? Google it. Want to know Rob Lowe's first son's name? Google it. Now, for why I hate Google: it gives us instant access to any information we want. Google violates our privacy and makes it ridiculously easy for psychopaths, blackmailers, and stalkers to research their targets. In some areas of Europe, Google Maps in not permitted to publishing aerial photographs of people’s homes. Often, the responsibility is on the homeowner to submit a request to Google by a certain date or one is assumed to have agreed to this lack of privacy. Shouldn't it be the other way around? Just because you have satellites in space doesn't mean you can take a photo of me tanning naked in my back yard and put it on Google Maps.

Google should be restricted. It's wrong for any government to allow easy access to the addresses of single women homeowners. Please come to my house and rape and rob me. I live alone, own a home, and you can find my address right online where through the city’s property registry. While I’m at it, how about I give you a floor plan to the house, a remote for the security system, the password to the safe, and an insurance certificate stating the value of the jewels you are about to steal?

Note to all the single women out there: If you're not rich, it's virtually impossible to hide your personal data online. If you're rich, you can bury yourself under blind trusts, fictitious names, corporations, lawyers and accountants. If you're the average single woman buying your first home, you won’t be able to you put your mortgage in a blind trust so you are shit out of luck. The minute you sign the papers, the title of property is online for everyone to find through the city listing. It may also appear on a site called Block Shopper, which will even disclose the price you paid for your home. If you want privacy as a woman, don't buy a home.

I am vehemently opposed to this type of personal information being accessible online without full disclosure of the inquiring party. The city and state databases should require an upload of government-issued photo ID (driver’s license/passport), social security number, IP address, phone number and a credit card fee of a hundred dollars. Paying for this information would help weed out the riffraff and protect those who are exposed.

That said, I do think that a woman should take every precaution when agreeing to a date with a man. She should use Google and paid services like Intellius Search to learn everything she can about him. Proper etiquette suggests you not to throw this in his face. Just retain the information and use it as an internal fact-checking system. What if he says had a home in another state, but he sold it. You can verify that. You might discover that he recently bought a new three million dollar home in Dallas registered to both him and his wife. Sure, he said he was separated, but then why is there a recent photo of them looking very happy at a recent charity event? Maybe he says he owns a home in NY. You can verify that he doesn’t—at least under his name. You need to do your due diligence as though you are interviewing someone to be the CEO of a fortune 500 company. You think those headhunter types just use Rorschach inkblot tests to decide whether your personality fits the corporate climate of the company? Hell no. While they may run you through various personality tests, they’ll also investigate every detail of a prospective CEO's life in the executive recruitment process. As a woman in the dating world, you should do the same. You are after all recruiting an executive. The CEO or CFO of your marriage, family and future.

And before you say "I do" you should say "I want—an audited evaluation of his financial status revealing all debt, assets, loans, etc." This is mandatory, like a very nice ring!